In recent months my head has become clouded. I have lost sight of old passions and feel remorseful towards the fallen desires of a previous life. A clear indication of this has been my inactivity in creative practices such as blogging and performance, resulting in lost incapacity to use language.
This has occurred on the basis that I now position my life around practicality instead of enjoyment. Of course, what I study is an exception as I always had my eyes set on Journalism. However, in terms of personal goals and side hustles, I am afraid to take a leap.
I fear sacrifice and compromise, which is completely irrational as those two things are the cost of love. If I truly love something and wish to pursue it on either a personal or professional level, I have to be willing to pay the price.
My worth is not defined by what I aspire to be or what I achieved in the past. I’m learning that now. I have to create my own happiness for I can’t simply wait for it to come to me.
I have slacked off, which is utterly pathetic considering much effort was required to obtain my current position.
I hope in publicly sharing this post I can hold myself accountable in initiating my own happiness and allowing love and passion to flow from there. In opening my heart and utilising my potential, I am more likely to see the results I want, rather than sitting on my ass waiting for them to come to me.